the beginning of august

Test Number One of my Newfound Patriotism:
being stuck on a stopped train full of Carnival Cruiseline Americans

bad: their loud conversations and general panicked agreement that not getting back to the ship on time would be the absolute End of the World

worse: when the Spanish guy said, jokingly, Follow me to a taxi! I'm the boss! and they responded, not jokingly, No, God is the boss.

worst: the Louisiannan's filling time by expounding on the greatness of George W. Bush, including a monologue on the complacency of Bill Clinton and frequent repetition of the phrase the best defense is a good offense.