last day

It rained every day of my last week in Amsterdam, every day at least a little and today, the last day, a lot. When it wasn’t raining the sky was clouds from end to end, so that this morning when I opened my eyes and looked out the sixth floor full-wall window my bed was pressed against I had a moment of regret followed my a moment of ingenuity, a plan to split open the cloudcover and shuck it off like a pillowcase.

Tomorrow morning I am getting on a plane to New York. I’ve left here before, by plane and train and automobile, and I’ve always come back again, so I am feeling no latent alarm. I am sensing, from experience, that although I will load my back and arms with all my Amsterdam possessions, receive a boarding pass, flash my passport, I will not, despite all this evidence to the contrary, actually be leaving.

Given the weather it has been a satisfying last week. I gave accurate directions no less than five times, tandem biked around the island of Texel with Natalie, started and finished a solid novel by an author I hadn’t heard of before, pleasantly ended an ongoing nothing-in-particular with a cute and clever Dutch boy, and visited a hands-on museum of hydraulic engineering. On the practical side I did laundry, packed, bought presents, and sent a final round of postcards. I listened to This American Life and cycled through the favorite songs I missed while on the road – songs by angry girls and country boys and friends I haven’t seen in too long. I considered cutting off my hair but decided against it.

Surprisingly, I am ready to go back. I am most of all ready to get to work on my thesis. I am also eagerly anticipating late nights with friends, and nonstop access to English media, and the produce windfall that is autumn in Eugene. Shit, I might even be able to eat a brownie! I never thought much about brownies but they don’t make them here, so I haven’t had a brownie in almost a year. Which suddenly makes brownies marvelous.

Anyway. See y’all soon.